Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
