Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
do nipples grow back?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
