Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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