nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
