shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
