Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
