No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
