I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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