We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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