You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
