Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.

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(804): View more from Virginia

Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?

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(856): View more from New Jersey

nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends

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(330): View more from Ohio

I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?

(810): View more from Michigan

shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you

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(909): View more from California

he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.

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(775): View more from Nevada

If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.

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(409): View more from Texas

Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal

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(615): View more from Tennessee

What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?

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