he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
