Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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