How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
