Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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