K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
