was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
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They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
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my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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