So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
