I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
