Have you finally orgasmed yet?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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