Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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