Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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