haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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