before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
No I am not eating basil off your cock
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He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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