Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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