drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize