when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
