i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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