Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
