EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
