Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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