That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
