Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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