Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
honey bunches of taint.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
why is half of my head shaved?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
