If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Are we still banned from the library?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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