Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize