I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
