Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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