it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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