and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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