Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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