i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
