So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
