On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
