So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
