Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
