You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
