I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
