My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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