i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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