currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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