Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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