When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I think people are normalizing furries
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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