Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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