wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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