Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
