so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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