a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize