I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Randomize
