There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Holy sore nipples Batman
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
