I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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