why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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