And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
