I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
