So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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