i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
i think im in europe. pls send help
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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